Even different students can fit in

A trustee mom shares her efforts for "the larger good"

Lisa Graham is grateful to her autistic son. Because of him, she's a champion.

The New Westminster school trustee explains, "If you have a handicapped child, it would be all too easy to feel like the victim of circumstances. I've learned that it’s better to champion your circumstances – to advocate for your child and other children like him."

The first major hurtle for David, who's autistic, came when kindergarten loomed, back in the mid-1990s. Nervous about how he'd fit into F.W. Howay Elementary School, Lisa approached the staff about doing a presentation. It was her way of introducing David to them. Of clearing the way for him.

The staff proved very understanding, Lisa relates. They were positive and helpful, always looking at what David could do rather than focusing on what he couldn't. She ended up writing a poem dedicated to them (see sidebar).

That early experience was a springboard to more advocacy. "I started helping other special needs families to deal with their issues. The more involved I became, it became more clear that too many of these families were single- parent families, and that special needs are often linked to social needs. With just one parent taking care of a family, there are then economic circumstances on top of special needs challenges."

Lisa describes herself as one of the lucky ones. Her husband and extended family are very supportive.  Her parents live only blocks away.

As Lisa increased her advocacy work, the New Westminster Social Issues Committee invited her to sit as a member. "Then someone said, 'Why don’t you run for school trustee?' " Lisa laughs. "If someone had told me years ago that I'd end up doing this, I'd have told them, 'You’re nuts!' "

Lisa, who also has a daughter, Julie, looks back with wonder at the journey she's been on, a journey that continues, thanks to David. "When you start championing handicapped children, it takes you places. You meet so many good people. And it is rewarding and humbling when your work is appreciated – I felt very honoured to receive the Queen’s Jubilee Medal for the advocacy I’ve done."

Now David's at New Westminster Senior Secondary, in the Life Skills program. And the staff at NWSS is "outstanding," Lisa says.

What’s David like? Well, like many autistic persons, he has both deficits and gifts.  For example, he taught himself five languages because he got bored playing his computer games in English and chose to play the games in the different language formats.

He likes skiing, skating, swimming and jumping on the trampoline. It's typical of autistic persons to prefer independent over group sports.

And Lisa keeps on championing him. "My dearest hope is that I can resolve some of the issues so that other families won't endure the same hardships. You accept that the change you effect won'’t be in time for your own children. You’ll be lightening the burden for others. You’re doing what you do for the larger good."

"Inclusion of special needs children in the classroom"

By Lisa Graham

Lisa with her son and daughter

As pencil shavings curl and dangle toward the floor;
Stars reclaim the summer sky
Schools unlock their doors.
In their desks, row by row, as challenge to all teacher-kind,
Are freshly sun-tanned faces with willing hearts and lively minds.

September pairs of sneaker laces, sparkling clean and white as snow,
Await their lessons restlessly, with bouncing, swinging, tapping toes.
And lunch bags and thermoses and important other stuff
Are packed in sacks and satchels – the school year is again begun.

And so we too, into your care, place our special sons and daughters;
Their needs may differ from the rest but they are here as all the rest are.
And through the next ten months until we close this new school year,
We pray their days are smooth enough that you’ll feel glad they're here.
There will be trying moments – we know; we live them everyday,

But sense of purpose and human kindness go such a long, long way.
And the 21 other children whose eyes and minds you lead
Learn more than academics – they follow word and deed.
And so it is with gratitude, we place our trust in you,
To work with us and grow with us to start this year anew.

Written with thanks to Mary Schumacher and all the staff at F.W. Howay Elementary School